Growth

You chose growth because you want to expand beyond your current capabilities. It's easy to settle for what you already have, but you're forcing yourself to grow whether you like it or not.

If you're on this journey, it's because you want more than what you have now. That's why you have all these questions, and why you're forcing yourself to grow. It doesn't have to be comfortable - but that's okay because you've already decided that more is worth it.

When you're trying to grow, you have to try a bunch of different things. It's like a pendulum—you swing from what you are now to what you want to be.

At first, everything feels uncomfortable because it's not natural yet—you're still not used to operating that way. You have to think about it actively and you keep swinging back and forth. But don't worry, that feeling goes away once you get used to it. And by the time you do, the pendulum will naturally settle in the middle and it'll be much easier for you to pull from both sides of who you are—the current you and the past you. Just give it time and appreciate the progress you make along the way.

We force ourselves to feel disordered so we can learn that there are better ways of living. There may be an inherent chaos to this process, but if you look closely enough, you can see that it's also remarkably beautiful and worth preserving.